The Worst Month of the Year

who wants my job?
leh long leh long.

its very ok wan..

You only need to do the work of 8 people, let your superiors claim credit for it, cover the shit that is coming from on top and maintain your sanity. While receiving half the pay of a road sweeper.

On top of that, you have to play the forever losing game of office politics.

(authors note: I tried to write the scenario of what happened. But it turned out to be so complicated, if I finished writing it, I think I can become Minfong Ho.)

I'm so pissed I almost fainted from anger just now...

My head was literally swimming..

Guess wad? I got scolded for NOTHING. NOTHING at all!
I got scolded by a person under me, for nothing! Just because he was angry.

Like wtf?

No. I do not have the power of a sergeant or a godlike officer to fucking kick his ass or give him extra. So what to do?
suck thumb lah!

Cos even if I explain the situation to him, he wouldn't understand it. And even if he did, he wouldn't believe it.

ARRRGHH!! I don't even want to think about it. It makes me pissed just thinking about it.

Polar bear Polar bear Polar bear
Cute baby seals Cute baby seals Cute baby seals
Little hamsters Little hamsters Little hamsters.

FUCK!!!
I can't even concentrate on doing my work just thinking about it.

Am I supposed to go up to him and lovingly tell him. "Look there is a misunderstanding?"
Nah beh. He's most likely going to curse my mum and dad and every single one of my ancestors if possible before I could finish the sentence!

and don't start with the, "how do you know if you havn't even tried" thing.

would you go into the den of starving lions and say, "Hi! I would like to explain to you why you shouldn't eat me."
I'm sure an angel would come down and clamp the lion's mouth shut.



screwed up world.



I feel like giving up everything you know.
If not for the fact that I KNOW that nobody else will take the shit that I'm taking, I wouldn't even bother doing this shitty fucked up thing.



This is by far the most stressed up month of my entire year. And it HAD to be December.

My parents expect me to do a hell lot of things.
The church wants me to do a hell lot of things.
My WORK demands me to do a hell lot of things.

everybody expects so much of me... why on earth do I even bother?

............ so many people are telling me to quit.
Just throw everything away.

Don't even bother about the slightest thing anymore...

I really.. really want to do that.




But I can't!!!!!
I CAN'T!!!!
NO MATTER HOW MUCH I'M UNAPPRECIATED, MISUNDERSTOOD, BLAMED AND DEVALUED, I WILL NOT LET ANOTHER PERSON SUFFER FOR THE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO CARRY!

BECAUSE I AM NOT A COWARD!

... If I cannot be the eagle, I will still be the wind beneath it's wings..
I'll never be appreciated. But within my short life span, I can lift up the eagle high up...

you won't understand.
nobody will.
cause if they did, they won't tell me to quit.

its a battle that I have always been fighting... alone.









I just wonder... does God even know? Is this a counterbalance for the sins I've committed?


Now I really know why some people who take my position want to commit suicide.